


Say no more, I can surely say that I've had enough.

by gay_kratos_aurion



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, if you aren't good with that please don't read, like they aren't blood and gore explicit but you can tell, shizuo is depressed, shizuo's family is in it but not IN it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 17:42:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15801444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_kratos_aurion/pseuds/gay_kratos_aurion
Summary: On his messy nightstand, his phone buzzed. He couldn't bring himself to check it.





	Say no more, I can surely say that I've had enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly a vent fic, since I'm not doing amazing. (I'm not in danger, I just needed to write it out.)
> 
> Title is from AndoryuNii's translation of Sayoko.

Rain again. Shizuo was damn tired of this weather.

The drops pattered on his window. He pulled the blanket further over his head. On his messy nightstand, his phone buzzed. He couldn't bring himself to check it.

How many people had he put in critical condition? How many died later from complications? He didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't pull his thoughts away from it. His fists clenched.

Did he exist solely to cause pain? Was there nothing else he was good at? Why couldn't he just stop himself from harming others?

He angrily tossed the blanket off. It landed on a pile of clothes he had yet to clean. He sat up and flipped open his cell phone, expecting some spam message from a bot.

Last time he got told he won a prize and tried to redeem it, all he won was viruses that caused porn to pop up on his screen. It took two hours for Tom to calm Shizuo down after that, and the phone was never the same, since it had been crushed to pieces.

Speaking of which-

* * *

_**From:** Boss _

_10:36 AM_

_Hey Shizuo, it's me. Are you doing alright? I was planning to go to a cafe later today at noon, but I don't want to go alone. Mind coming with me? My treat._

* * *

Shizuo really wanted to, but he couldn't find any energy to even type a response. Still in his boxers, he stumbled to the bathroom and checked his reflection.

Dark circles and tangled hair greeted him. Jesus, had they gotten darker? He seriously wasn't doing well. What could he even do, though? He tried meds, he tried therapy, and he tried optimism. None of them had worked.

A glint of something caught his eye. A razor blade. Oh no, like hell he was trying that. He couldn't just die. His brother-

His brother didn't give a shit. Neither did his parents. Tom might care, but Shizuo doubted he would be too affected. It would be less work for everyone if he just died.

Somehow, though, he just couldn't bring himself to grab the razor. How could he still not want to end it, after everything he's done? He couldn't wrap his head around it.

Shizuo finally pulled his gaze away from the sharp metal, and walked back to bed, pulling the blanket over him.


End file.
